Group Scene AGAIN
Why do I do this to myself? I was checking out the scene I'm taking to critique and this is what I see:
Glyssa and Camellia go to the starship Nuada's Sword (sentient, so it counts as a person) THREE
They meet a courier with a recording from the excavation of Lugh's Spear (comes and goes FOUR and back to THREE)
They watch a viz recording from Lugh's spear showing the hero, another man and hear a narrator. SIX
The viz ends. SIX TO THREE.
Laev (Camellia's HeartMate) comes in, so does Dani Eve Elder, who lives and works on the Ship. THREE TO FIVE, with mentions of the Captain.
T'Ash scries the Ship holding a young fox kit, a cat hisses offstage. FIVE TO EIGHT.
Glyssa leaves to go to T'Ash's. EIGHT TO ONE
She meets Danith D'Ash and the fox kit, Glyssa's new Fam. ONE TO THREE TO TWO at the end of the scene.
I can keep track of this. My steeped-in-Celta fans can probably do the same. Mentor can (but will howl at the group scene). The rest of my critique group (esp. the guy) not so much.
I like this scene, but I know it must be cut, giving me a headache. I can delete Dani Eve and summarize the conversation about the telecommunications satellite (Laev needs to be there). I can probably get Glyssa alone in the landing bay when T'Ash calls...still.
I am not sure what I need to do to stop this rampant group-scene tendency of mine, except concentrate harder when I am working.
Thank you for listening to me vent...and those were the people on and off-stage, there was another paragraph that was completely lovely and listed a chain of names that, again, observant fans would know, but no one else. It must also be cut...
May you not entangle yourself in any problems today.