Writerly stuff that never goes away
Yesterday I mainly printed graphics and cut and paste (since my printer WOULD NOT accept label parameters).... anyway, I've been away from the story for a full day and now I am afraid to face the page, that my writing won't be good, my ideas are pedestrian, the book won't pull together.
You'd think that after mumbledy-mumble years of writing I would get over this, and after 6 1/2 years of being published.
No.
And I'm doing comparisons. Carol Berg and I read together a while back and her prose was so lyrical and beautiful. I read from Keepers of the Flame which I consider very workmanlike, the best I could do with the resources I had (my fav affirmation), but not as good as if it had been a single book instead of one and a half, if I had had time to reconfigure the story, if I hadn't had to write it in 5 months and proof it in four hours.
Still, most people won't know that. They'll pick up other books that enthrall them more with the language, more depth, better twists.
And I'm not saying much of it wasn't my responsibility. I agreed to the contract (though I certainly didn't understand the production schedule beforehand), and I certainly won't agree to such a contract again. I didn't want to walk away, wasn't ready to, and that was that, but it means that I will always be dissatisfied with Keepers of the Flame, which is a shame because overall I think it's a good, entertaining read.
So fear of failure, of lack, and comparisons always shadow many of us, published, unpublished, multi-published, best selling authors. So I should just suck it up and get on, but I think I'll go take a nap instead. ;) I'm still feeling low on sleep, and I've hit major conferences before when I've been pretty burnt out and it's not a good thing.
I'll write later this afternoon and evening. Promise.
May you have no doubts today,
Robin
You'd think that after mumbledy-mumble years of writing I would get over this, and after 6 1/2 years of being published.
No.
And I'm doing comparisons. Carol Berg and I read together a while back and her prose was so lyrical and beautiful. I read from Keepers of the Flame which I consider very workmanlike, the best I could do with the resources I had (my fav affirmation), but not as good as if it had been a single book instead of one and a half, if I had had time to reconfigure the story, if I hadn't had to write it in 5 months and proof it in four hours.
Still, most people won't know that. They'll pick up other books that enthrall them more with the language, more depth, better twists.
And I'm not saying much of it wasn't my responsibility. I agreed to the contract (though I certainly didn't understand the production schedule beforehand), and I certainly won't agree to such a contract again. I didn't want to walk away, wasn't ready to, and that was that, but it means that I will always be dissatisfied with Keepers of the Flame, which is a shame because overall I think it's a good, entertaining read.
So fear of failure, of lack, and comparisons always shadow many of us, published, unpublished, multi-published, best selling authors. So I should just suck it up and get on, but I think I'll go take a nap instead. ;) I'm still feeling low on sleep, and I've hit major conferences before when I've been pretty burnt out and it's not a good thing.
I'll write later this afternoon and evening. Promise.
May you have no doubts today,
Robin
posted by FantasyAuthor RobinDOwens | 1:02 PM
4 Comments:
I have really enjoyed the Keepers of the Flame series.You are just descriptive enough without going on and on. Good amount of action also.
I have to admit that I like it better than some of Carol Berg's books.
I am sorry it is a limited series because I have enjoyed it so much.;)
I am a fan.
I agree with Diane. As I've told my husband, I like all of your books BECAUSE they don't go overboard with excesses. You give us just enough to allow our imaginations to get the picture and then run with it before you go on. Simplicity can be a great thing when done right, and that you do quite well.
I, too, am sorry the series is coming to an end. I cringe to think of the possibility of some or all of the girls (and thus there spouses) could die in this book. *whimpers*
My big question has been why Amee doesn't have an Exotique for itself. Kind of a motherly figure (i.e.: symbolizing Mother Earth) that would tie all the other Exotique's together. Ah well, guess my imagination's been running away on a tangent again...
Have faith in yourself. We certainly do. Now go outside, close your eyes and center your mind. Feel nature around you. Imagine yourself in Amee and I'm sure things will begin to flow again.
Oh, God, Robin. Carol's one of those writers that lots of us other writers look at and despair, because she is so very very good. I feel your pain. :) I do try to remind myself that it's good we all write differently, because it gives us things to aspire to and things we love to read, but man, yeah, some days it's just "Augh she's so GOOD!" and there's not a damned thing to be done about it. Particularly, I think, when you're dissatisfied with something of your own.
Fortunately, as you said, most of the time, the readers don't see the same problems we writers do, so it's generally okay in the end. :) *HUGS*!
-Catie
Thanks Diane and Carpetsudsie and Catie.
I DID actually go outside. Tommy has never been an outside cat and Mistral has loved it but her life is winding down, so I'll be spending some time with them outside when weather permits.
The winter chill has left the ground and the sun was warm on my back.
I also have some meditation tapes I have not been using, but that I take on trips and MUST get back to them.
Carpetsudsie, Amee has been evolving in my mind over the series, however the short answer is that the Singer is tied into the world (and the universe and Song) and Jikata is the Singer's Exotique. I AM pleased to say that I've already written one scene where Amee reveals herself to Jikata.
Love to you all,
Robin
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