She thought, He thought and POV shifts

I don't do this:

It didn't get any better than this, she thought.

I don't do this either.

It didn't get any better than this.

I like deep 3rd person Point of View, so I do this:


It didn't get any better than this. Driving up a mountainside away from the city as soft evening lowered onto the land -- to a fabulous hotel that had food to make her mouth water from sixty miles away and beds to sink into. Beds to roll around in with the new love at her side. He was mouth-watering, too.

She glanced at him, saw his smile and her entire insides shivered.

Jason smiled, slowly, at Merry. Her blue eyes -- naturally blue -- had snagged him from the moment they'd met. She took the hairpin turn fast and they swayed together in the Corvette. He really wanted to get his hands on the wheel, almost as he wanted to get his hands on her.



So that's a little exercise in deep 3rd POV, consider deleting "he/she thought" and NOT putting them in italics (of course I save my italics for mental telepathy). Also a very quick POV transition, one character looks/notes another, then the switch into the next character's POV, with that one's thoughts emotions to nail the POV switch.

May you enjoy your day.
Robin