A Sampler of Active v. Passive Language

A brief sample from my first seminar on writing (getting people ready for the RMFW Colorado Gold Contest -- and you folks who do contests, I think the Pikes Peaks Writers Contest deadline is coming up). A note, it's rare for me to use "tags" that's something after the quotes, other than "he said/she said" and I dont' recall ever using sneer as a tag, but usually will show the sneer as a facial expression...

SHOW, DON'T TELL: ACTIVE VS. PASSIVE WRITING

VERY PASSIVE

"You bastard," she said.
He was angry.

PASSIVE

"You bastard," she sneered.
He felt angry.

MORE ACTIVE

"You bastard," she sneered.
Anger surged through him.

MOST ACTIVE

"You bastard," she sneered.
He leapt to his feet. One stride brought him to her. He curled his fingers around her throat.


May you be ACTIVE today, love to all,
Robin