Awards -- Golden Statues, Golden Medals

Yes, awards are wonderful, both those judged by your peers and those judged by readers. Mostly because it gives you a sense that you are on the right track, that maybe you were meant to be a writer after all. I don't know if athletes have doubts that they were meant to pursue their calling. I'm sure actors do. And I know that I'm not alone in wondering whether I should be a writer, in doubting myself, my talent, my work. That if I let it, a bad reveiw can get me down (though I firmly believe that inner validation is THE ONLY thing a person can depend on). But sometimes doing the best you can with all the resources you have doesn't seem enough. I know most other writers doubt themselves, too, that's why belonging to a supportive writing community WHICH INCLUDES BLOGS, is important. Oh, can you tell my current project is not going as well as I want?

And yes, I have a couple of golden medals, too. Gold for first in Colorado State gymnastics that I won as a kid. I don't know where they are. I thought I'd moved them from a storage box to my jewelry box and was going to scan one, but when I looked, they weren't there. They aren't big, about an inch round. I don't particularly like them. I did that for my father. HE wanted those medals. I happened to give them to him one year (and, boy, am I glad that we aren't always judged on one shot).

So the awards that I have won, because I'm doing something I love, mean much more...and I've circled around to the inner validation thing. My gut is still quivering, my mind still doubting, but, on the whole, I love writing and even if I never got published again (remember, one of my bottom line questions!), I would still write. And I'd go back to a day job and that would be easier, too.

So you may doubt yourself, but if you do, contact your buddy. I know my writing friends won't tell me a piece of work is good when it isn't, and that can be priceless.

May no self doubt shadow your thoughts today and writing be fun!
Robin