Awards -- Golden Statues, Golden Medals
Yes, awards are wonderful, both those judged by your peers and those judged by readers. Mostly because it gives you a sense that you are on the right track, that maybe you were meant to be a writer after all. I don't know if athletes have doubts that they were meant to pursue their calling. I'm sure actors do. And I know that I'm not alone in wondering whether I should be a writer, in doubting myself, my talent, my work. That if I let it, a bad reveiw can get me down (though I firmly believe that inner validation is THE ONLY thing a person can depend on). But sometimes doing the best you can with all the resources you have doesn't seem enough. I know most other writers doubt themselves, too, that's why belonging to a supportive writing community WHICH INCLUDES BLOGS, is important. Oh, can you tell my current project is not going as well as I want?
And yes, I have a couple of golden medals, too. Gold for first in Colorado State gymnastics that I won as a kid. I don't know where they are. I thought I'd moved them from a storage box to my jewelry box and was going to scan one, but when I looked, they weren't there. They aren't big, about an inch round. I don't particularly like them. I did that for my father. HE wanted those medals. I happened to give them to him one year (and, boy, am I glad that we aren't always judged on one shot).
So the awards that I have won, because I'm doing something I love, mean much more...and I've circled around to the inner validation thing. My gut is still quivering, my mind still doubting, but, on the whole, I love writing and even if I never got published again (remember, one of my bottom line questions!), I would still write. And I'd go back to a day job and that would be easier, too.
So you may doubt yourself, but if you do, contact your buddy. I know my writing friends won't tell me a piece of work is good when it isn't, and that can be priceless.
May no self doubt shadow your thoughts today and writing be fun!
Robin
2 Comments:
Job satisfaction is sometimes all that we have. Do you like what you do?
Enjoying what you do even if it is at times frustrating is the best we have.
I teach Social studies and feel so fortunate to live in the time we do because we have so many choices.
You want to try frustration and a lack of awards, try teaching middle school! But I love what I do ;)
You are absolutely right, Diane, loving what we do is what life should be about. I can't tell you how good it feels to know you're a teacher who likes her job, especially since my parents were both teachers (and librarians) and my nephew and one of my nieces are in middle school!
Thanks for the perspective,
Robin
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