TRANSCRIPTION OF ORIGINAL HANDWRITTEN OPENING OF GUARDIAN OF HONOR POSTED EARLIER
When the star (FR star) glows bright and moves through the constellation Caen?, when mist enshrouds the stone circle of XXX; when the face of the moon is hidden – then the walls? between worlds are thin and you may summon saviours from the Exotic Land. Send the call. Choose well.
"The time is upon us. Tonight," Lord Reynardus’ harsh voice ehconed through the cold stone (STRUCK OUT council chamber).
ALL THE REST STRUCK OUT
"All is ready. IF we decide to do it," Lord Belligues siad, his thin squeaky tones barely audible above the rising wind.
"We MUST do it," Lady Henrietta met each Lord and Lady’s gaze, hoping her shivers of apprehension were hidden by her
ACTUAL GUARDIAN OF HONOR OPENING:
Lladrana, Early Spring
When the Star Etalla glows bright and moves through the constellation Caen; when mists envelope the stone circle high atop Archer's Mound; when the face of the Moon is hidden — then the walls between worlds are thin, and you may Summon saviors — or demons — from the Exotique Land. Send the Call. Choose well.
The rush of rain hit the stone pavement with hissing, tinny pings. Sword Marshall Thealia hurried through the castle's cloister walk, ignoring the silver fall outside the open pointed arches.
SEVERAL PARAGRAPHS BEFORE DIALOGUE WITH REYNARDUS
"Tonight is the time." His rough voice echoed through the stone room, sounding as sharp as his footsteps.
"All is ready." Her gesture encompassed the freshly incised pentacle, the altar with the rainbow of glowing gemstone crystal chimes, the tools, the fruit and wine, the enormous silver gong. She hoped her quilted overdress concealed the shiver of apprehension that flowed along her spine like the touch of cold steel.
***********
May you be amused by your own creation today.
Robin
"The time is upon us. Tonight," Lord Reynardus’ harsh voice ehconed through the cold stone (STRUCK OUT council chamber).
ALL THE REST STRUCK OUT
"All is ready. IF we decide to do it," Lord Belligues siad, his thin squeaky tones barely audible above the rising wind.
"We MUST do it," Lady Henrietta met each Lord and Lady’s gaze, hoping her shivers of apprehension were hidden by her
ACTUAL GUARDIAN OF HONOR OPENING:
Lladrana, Early Spring
When the Star Etalla glows bright and moves through the constellation Caen; when mists envelope the stone circle high atop Archer's Mound; when the face of the Moon is hidden — then the walls between worlds are thin, and you may Summon saviors — or demons — from the Exotique Land. Send the Call. Choose well.
The rush of rain hit the stone pavement with hissing, tinny pings. Sword Marshall Thealia hurried through the castle's cloister walk, ignoring the silver fall outside the open pointed arches.
SEVERAL PARAGRAPHS BEFORE DIALOGUE WITH REYNARDUS
"Tonight is the time." His rough voice echoed through the stone room, sounding as sharp as his footsteps.
"All is ready." Her gesture encompassed the freshly incised pentacle, the altar with the rainbow of glowing gemstone crystal chimes, the tools, the fruit and wine, the enormous silver gong. She hoped her quilted overdress concealed the shiver of apprehension that flowed along her spine like the touch of cold steel.
***********
May you be amused by your own creation today.
Robin
posted by FantasyAuthor RobinDOwens | 12:31 AM
2 Comments:
The second one shows a lot of improvement.
Janice~
LOL, that's what revision is for.
Post a Comment
<< Home